Words

I remember one patient. She was the last patient whose life I saved.
She had have been addicted to steroids and I had helped her withdrawal. She became better and didn’t appear to me for a while. Well, it is often the case with the patients. Most patients don’t come to me after becoming well.

One day she appeared accompanied by her parent. She was very skinny and suffering from anorexia. She had suffered from a kind of leukemia also. She couldn’t come to me because she was found to be suffering from leukemia and admitted to a hospital. Systemic steroids were administered as a treatment.
After the remission of leukemia and steroids were discontinued, she developed eczema again. It seemed to be just like the rebound. So she came to me again.

She was admitted to our hospital for the purpose of intravenous nutrition. While I was inserting a catheter to her subclavicular vein, I thought it might be my last whole body treatment to a patient. I had just sumbitted my resignation the day before. I had been so tired and depressed by treating thousands of TSA patients.

And she told me as the followings.
"It doesn’t matter whether steroids are good or bad. If my leukemia recurs, should I use the steroids again?
Have you ever seen such a patient like me? Is there any patient whose skin is so dirty like me?
Doc, please don't leave me alone. Don’t go away from me. There is no place to stay for me."

I answered.
"It’s all right.
You become cured if you continue to live. You are to be healed if you only continue to live.
It’s all right.
You can’t be cured if you died.
So please eat a meal as much as you can. You can’t become healed if you died though your disease can be cured."

"Doc, is it really OK? Will my skin become clear? Is there anybody who has so dirty skin like me?"

"It’s OK.
You are to be cured if you only continue to live.
How many years have I seen you? You have been cute and beautiful since your first visit. As you are originally cute, you become clear."

I repeated above sayings but thought that it was a hard work for me because I myself had lost the purpose of my living at that time. I only repeated the phrases vacuously seeing the far landscape from the window.
That was my work.

The day after, she developed DIC shock due to sepsis. Her sayings must have been from a kind of mental confusion just before it. As I had felt an abnormal atmosphere, I had checked fibrin-d-dimer in serum and had administered FOY for prevention of DIC. I saved her life. I dare to say I was a skilled physician though my specialty was dermatology. I saved patients’ lives many times like this.

After my retirement, I telephoned to her because I was anxious about her. She answered the phone and said she was doing well. I felt relieved.

Words from a doctor might be the best medication for patients.
However, I think it is necessary for the doctor to be skilled enough. If the doctor had good skills, his words would become a medication.

I have not seen patients for a long time. I believe my skills are still alive and I hope my words on internet work for you.

Sorry, the comment column is not available now. But the author believes readers can find some hints to overcome their own situations by the previous comments.